Dowry and Gold on today’s society.
Definition of Dowry: An amount of gifts or money brought by a bride to give to her husband on her marriage day.
Historically it was common in many countries for centuries – amongst Hebrews, Greeks and Romans although it dominantly has faded over the years. It is still however very prominent in India – quite significantly in some areas.
But what do we, as second generation British born Asians think about it? Surely we think it’s a load of rubbish, and rightly so. Our parents generation hate it too and disagree with this backward unfair tradition. We at Saaschat are writing about this as we feel it is still here, in today’s society even if it is in a subtle way.
Looking around and going to weddings, we can see that the bride’s family still present gifts to the groom’s family – often lots of gold. The groom’s mother often will get a gold set and new clothes, the groom’s father/brother/sister will often get gold too. Although the groom’s family might not ask for it do they actually say no, or return the gifts? If the groom’s family haven’t asked for it, then why do the bride’s family give it? Also why don’t the bride’s family get any gifts from the groom’s family? Maybe parents feel they are just covering themselves so nobody can say to their daughter they weren’t given anything. Maybe they think they can buy their daughter’s happiness in this way, if this is the case, that is very sad.
Its not just weddings we see this happening but also events. For example if a daughter has just given birth to a child, the girl’s family will traditionally give gifts not just to the new grandchild, but also to their daughters in-laws – and again, often gold.
Do you think its ok to carry on with dowry in its subtle form in this day and age or is it about time it completely disappeared?
Have you been in a situation where your parents haven’t given anything to your husband’s family and you have had to hear it from your in-laws that they weren’t given anything? How did that make you feel?
If you are about to get married, how do you feel if your parents are going to give gifts to your husband’s family? Surely that money could be used more wisely for the new bride and groom, i.e. towards their new home…
Written by Saaschat team.
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